Important question: am I the only 25 year old who is still wearing underwear with “Party Animal” written across the butt? The irony kills me - I never leave my apartment.
Where does one buy ‘normal’ underwear? The type that’s not covered in rhinestones and glitter, and doesn’t promise to make your boobs 9x their normal size. Just like, the regular kind. Cotton. Really soft. Not with tight bands around the leg holes that cut off your circulation and turn your regular 2 butt cheeks into 4. The ones that come in grey, black, white, and maybe a pastel colour for when you’re feeling fun.
I’ve dabbled in all sorts. I’ve gone the mall store route (Dear Victoria’s Secret, while I want to be one of your angels, I’ve come to terms with the fact that the only wings I’ll ever have are the ones from Gabby’s on half price wing night), the locally made route (Bully Boy makes extremely beautiful pieces, the kind that I’ve purchased but don’t ever wear because I don’t want to ruin them), and the ethical route (PansyCo is so amazing and comfortable but until I’m rich, I don’t have enough funds to own more than 1 set). I don’t want to have to think twice about my underwear - I just want them to be comfortable and not make my love handles ooze over the sides of my pants. I also don’t want them to be covered in little drawings of reindeer like the thong I finally threw out the other day after years of saying I would. You can judge me on that. I’m judging me too.
This isn’t just a long winded essay about panties, I promise; I’m coming to you with some answers. Well I’m not, but Everlane is. Everlane has just spent two years talking about ladies underwear (not in a weird way though, promise). Talking, designing, redesigning underwear to try and change an industries focus to comfort rather than sex appeal. And if there is anything I am here for, it is this! Speaking fully confidently as someone who would never consider themselves sexy, I am a strong believer in non-sexy options. I want underwear I can feel confident and like myself in, not underwear that makes me feel like a wanna-be Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.
So I’d like to propose a toast, to Everlane. Thanks for cutting the crap. Thanks for making me feel like me, all the way down to my knickers. Thanks for the most important underwear motto I have heard to date - no frills. No bows. No bullshit.